This is the second installment of our Bob Tryon series. He was a part-time card dealer from Elizabeth, New Jersey, who wrote hobby humor stories for Baseball Hobby News in our early days. Here are some more highlights from his September 1979 article:
By BOB TRYON
You know you're a collector when . . .
you acquire a 1963 Topps Hank Aaron in exchange for exclusive rights to your sister.
you decide to make a living selling baseball cards and suddenly realize that you've running a non-profit organization.
you buy your son a set of cards each year from the time of his birth, and later decide that they are actually your cards, since you paid for them.
you take your girl friend out for New Year's Eve - to a flea market.
you've successfully taught your dog to roll over, play dead, fetch a stick and sort cards.
your boss gives you a raise and your first thought is that you can now buy seven 1952 Topps high numbers each Friday instead of just six.
you have only enough money to buy cards or food, and you buy the cards without thinking twice. (Those who know me will realize that obviously I have never been confronted with this decision.)
you tell your wife that she'll have to remove all her jewelry from the family safe-deposit box, because you have more important things to put in it.
you travel to Pennsylvania twice a week in order to go through the garbage outside the Topps factory before the garbage men get there.
you ask the grocer if he can give you a better price if you buy two quarts of milk.